A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
Randomize
