i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Randomize
