I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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