it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
Randomize
