i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
NoShamevember. You game?
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
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