Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
