he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
Randomize
