So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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