Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
