Sry I called you an 8
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
