On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
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Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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