I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
How's work?
Spinning.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
did i just pee glitter
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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