even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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