we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
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