I'm really into asian looking animals
Having a random hookup so left but love u
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
Randomize
