could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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