I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Randomize
