I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
How's work?
Spinning.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
Randomize
