Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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