She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
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