Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
Randomize
