I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
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