Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
he wants to bone in the snuggie
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
Randomize
