I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
jump out the window naked night went bad
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