There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
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