Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
The air taste purple.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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