He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
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