so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Randomize
