Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
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