my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
His hands were made for my vagina.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
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