And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Randomize
