Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
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