dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Randomize
