Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
