Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
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