you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
Hello my rib-scented angel!
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
