I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
Randomize
