there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize
