My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
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