I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Randomize
