wake up i wanna do it froggy style
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Randomize
