plz talk dirty to me
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
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