How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
I'm sobbing to NWA
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
Randomize
