Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
I met the friendliest cop last night
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
Randomize
