ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
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