i just google imaged poop.
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
Randomize
