what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
Come share oat with me in your robe
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
Randomize
