i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
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