do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
50% drunk capacity currently
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Randomize
