Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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