so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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