This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
Randomize
